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Ever hear someone say, “Think before you speak”?
What does it mean to you? This day and age most people feel overwhelmed with responsibility and strict schedules. Especially in New York, everyone’s in a rush going nowhere fast. Why such a rush to end up at the same place at the same time anyway… We should embrace our day everyday. Whether you pray, sit in silence, etc. Meditate on the opportunity of the day. Be grateful for the gift of life. Also at the end of the day, we should close the day with grace and gratitude, even if the day unfolded not according to our plans. There’s always tomorrow and all we ever have is “Right Now.” And please remember to breathe. Breathing is key for us to control our energy and timing before we disperse our energy. When switching tasks, we can meditate beforehand as well. It is necessary for us to separate our visions of the past and most recent past in order to focus on now. Which becomes what we will create. Which brings us back to thinking before we speak. Have you ever been in a conversation, where you finish someone’s sentence before they finish speaking? Maybe you feel you already know everything the person is going to say and make up your mind after the person’s first few words. This is kind of disrespectful to the person speaking as well as the half listener. I’m speaking from experience. I’ve noticed that whenever I have done this, not only have I missed something the person was saying, but now I realize that even my body language did not reflect the attentiveness needed when truly listening. Working in Customer Service for many years, I’ve learned the true meaning of active listening. We must quite our minds and focus on what the person is saying even when it feels like it’s something we already know. In communication there must be a mutual respect between the corresponding parties in order for people to leave satisfied. By actively listening to a person, the person will feel more comfortable and may elaborate further. This also gives you the listener the chance to ask important questions if needed to gain a clear understanding. So meditate, there is no need to rush. Our brains are capable of using our time very efficiently. No one person is wasting our time. Each chance to communicate or listen expands our human connection. Hence, being a good listener is the biggest part of communication because it opens the two-way communication that leads to innovation. For instance, brainstorming in a group will never thrive without mutual respect and active listening. Maybe we should all take a moment of silence to breathe for up to five minutes before every meeting. People can be then relax and release whatever is going on in their lives before engaging in the meeting. Even though many corporations will not take the time, we as individuals can arrive early, sit in our car or in a lobby and close our eyes to focus on what is to come. That way we can embrace any new circumstance or situation we are about to embark on. This is life, this is the journey and on the way, we must listen to each other. Empathy and sympathy go miles in comforting people and open ideas. So take your time, mediate on what people are saying to you. Embrace people like you embrace the day and when you finish a conversation close the conversation the same way you would close the day. Stay humble with grace and gratitude. Written by Ariel Flashman Dedicated to Humanity
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Do you need a book to tell you right from wrong?
Do you need a person to tell you that it is not right to judge people? Do you have eyes to see the beauty of the world? Did anyone ever tell you not to trust yourself? Do you believe what you hear? Do you hear voices in your head? We are all products of what we tell ourselves. No matter what we go through in life, we choose how we handle every situation. I would go as far as saying perspective is each person’s individual reality. Perspective; “Is the cup half full or half empty?” or “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” The choice is always yours and what you tell yourself determines the outcome, whether immediate, short term, long term, etc. Think of our lives as if each one is a circle. All your routines, thoughts, actions, everything about you is your circle. It is only natural that like circles will overlap and combine at times. Hence, the more positive you are, the more positive people will come into your life. If you are negative then it's vice versa and we all know; “Misery loves company.” And don't forget; “The crabs in the bucket theory.” But do we take ownership for circumstances? Do we blame God or ask God for help? Or just let everything happen to us and think nothing is of our own doing? What about self-pity? Does feeling sorry for yourself help you at all? Personally, I thank God every day for this beautiful world and the gift of life. We have the choice of how to view this world, others, and ourselves. Whether or not we wish to make the best of things is a personal choice. If we pursue our lives with love and compassion, even if we find ourselves up against negativity repelling our value, it’s OK. Consistency always perseveres and you can't go wrong for doing right. Ultimately we persist no matter what, but the direction is up to us. I do feel there is such a thing as good and evil in the world. The whispers of our ears are there sitting on both shoulders, but we can choose which voices to hear. I’ve told my own mind to be quiet when catching myself judging someone or making an assumption about another person. Who are we to decide what a person's role is in a given situation. Even though at times we must make these types of decisions, the biggest struggle in life is truly within us. May we cherish ourselves enough and thank God enough to have the eyes to see the beauty of the world. Everything is everything and what is going to take place, will, whether we like it or not. So we may as well choose to see things in a light of less suffering or none at all. Or would you rather spend time in worry and fear? The choice is yours. Just remember, worry and fear are the biggest advisers of misery. So why would you willingly want to spend time in that state of mind? I know I don’t! Written by Ariel Flashman Dedicated to Humanity Calculating the amount of time I spent working during the workweek gave me huge insight on my work life balance.
I calculated my days and weeks and you guessed it; like everyone else in this world, I found the majority of the workweek was spent at work. (big surprise, but listen to the point) Roughly ten hours a day are spent at work including travel to and from. Additionally I try to gain about seven to eight hours of sleep per night and about one to two hours exercising. This leaves me with approximately four hours to take care of dinner and the children. Thank God for my wife whom is a great help with dinner and taking care of the house and kids. At a significant point in my life I found myself calculating how I spend my time and trying to determine the best way to spend it. (How to get the most value out of my time) Approximately forty-five hours a week are spent at work, so I may as well like the people I work with otherwise the majority of my time would be spent suffering. I used to have a fairly well paying job, but the department I worked in just wasn’t the right fit for me. There was more preach than practice and barley any direction at all. I couldn’t relate to the managers and didn't feel any real support. I saw managers making actions just to justify their positions, but none of their actions truly engaged the team as is was mostly a lot of smoke. I found common ground with fellow colleagues, but there was a sense of fear where people just accepted the way things were because the pay was good. Ironically, most of these people complained all day, including the manager I reported to. Communication felt forced throughout the entire department. To top it off, I wasn’t given credit for specific work I completed, nor process improvements I created. I felt it was a shame because the company had a lot to offer, but unfortunately when companies get to big, focus can shift to numbers and away from people. Needless to say, I needed a change. I applied to other jobs but told myself I wouldn’t accept any job offer until I found the right fit. Eventually, I resigned and took a chance to relocate, but that fell through. I ended up back at square one, but I had enough to cover me for a few months to make the change I wanted in my life. After a few interviews and job offers, I finally came across a place that felt great from the start. I accepted the position and became quickly acquainted with my new colleagues. I embraced my new work family and was able to come to work with my usual positive outlook and received the proper respect. This is the way we should feel when we go to work everyday. Though the difference in pay was quite less, it still had enough to pay my bills. Besides, I don't live above my means and I'm grateful for all that I have. Plus being happy to go to work made such a difference in my work life balance. And feeling good about what I'm doing will help me excel wherever I am. The bottom line is we all work to live though a few may live to work, it’s still really all based the value of time. And how can you value your time if you don’t enjoy it with the people you spend it with? Perspective is a most valuable tool because we can choose to embrace people or negate people. If you embrace people, you will see and bring the best out of them. If you negate or resist people you will push them away and create an unfriendly environment. This is certainly important for higher ups and managers that have people reporting to them. When dealing with direct reports it is important to create an approachable environment. Bosses who carry hostile mentalities that degrade their employees do not incentivize creativity or passion from their employees. “What I say goes,” or “Because I said so,” just doesn’t work anymore. (Negative attitudes in general don't work and leaders need to lead by example) How can any business thrive in such an environment and lack of culture? This day and age, we need to be more team based and empathetic to human life. None of us are so different. We all need to eat, protect our skin with clothes and use shelter from the weather. It's pretty basic. Unrealistic and irrational thoughts/ideas are made up in one’s own mind and the only person who can change that mind is the one who owns it. It doesn't matter where the influence came from. We all have Choice. So back to the topic at hand, embracing people. Previously I’ve written about ownership and truth in value, though the title of this written work is “Work Family,” it is really about embracing people. In regards to your work family, if you do your best to embrace them, but the culture in the workplace is stagnant and resistant to change and you are unhappy there, you must be the one to make a change. At least that's what I've learned from my experience. If you value your life, you will not wish to spend the majority of your time in an unpleasant environment just for the sake of a paycheck. You can survive, you will survive and all you’ve got to do is try. Sometimes we have to sacrifice, but weigh it out. Value yourself and make sure your time is well spent. If you believe in yourself and apply your energy efficiently, you can create peace in your life. Measure your time and place your value on the quality of life for yourself and those around you. Don't make choices solely based on income! (You can be rich and unhappy too) Income, in it may come but out it goes, so choose to enjoy today, everyday and don't waste your energy in negativity or around negative environments. You have choices to make. You can surely find people out there that you will love to embrace and they will love to embrace you too. Find your Work Family. Written by Ariel Flashman Dedicated to Humanity |
AuthorMy view is for the common good in all people. #NecessityBased Archives
October 2016
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